Happy new year! This year marks the beginning of an upward trend in my life.  At least that is the plan. With past decisions and many mistakes along the way, I have dug myself into a deep crevasse and the harder I try to climb out I seem to slip deeper. I know that things you've experiences in life assist in developing the person you become. No experience is good or bad, everything is an opportunity to learn. My problem is putting mine in to some form in which I benefit.
My past mistakes have created hurdles that hinder my ability to climb from out from the deep.
If I don't focus this year on fixing some of these problems I am seriously fucked. From debt, to DUI, lack of consistent employment, a baby and issues with addiction.
This year is dedicated to improving my quality of life. I owe it to myself, my family and friends. I owe it to humanity to better myself to do my part to make this world a better place.

Game plan? Ha! Shit...never been too good at planning. I think the first step is to reacquaint myself with family and make right the wrongs. I feel I've let some people down. Steady work has to be priority now. I have already toned down on drugs, drinking is in decline. Saving money is the only way I can tackle the rest of the fuckups.

This is gonna be a tough year for me. It's gonna be hard work and its gonna be emotionally exhausting, but I have to believe I can get myself on the right path out of the darkness that has enveloped my life.

Some of the things that got me here are in the title... They are not the things I want anymore, I want comfort, control, autonomy and self sustainability.  I want to work for me instead of constantly making my life more and more pathetic. It's a sad day when you don't even love yourself enough to want to get out of bed.

Wish me luck, and if you have any tips, I'm never too proud for advice or a hand up.  One day I hope to be in a position to help others out of their ruts.