It's been awhile... I've been working my ass off as of late with nothing to show for it. Let me explain. A career in baking and the dreadful 4am start time was not suited for this night owl.  I opted to continue my life as a service industry whore. For that is what I am, nothing more, nothing less. I walk, say yessir, right away sir, pardon me ma'am, may I... It is absurd that one so gifted would choose such a line of work, yet here I am, quite good at what I do... The gift of gab, of multitasking, speed, efficiency, listening, calculating, organizing and training...all at the same time. Why? You might ask... A noble response might seem appropriate here, however I have none.  The truth is, I like the rush. The panic. The pressure. There is something tantalizingly satisfying about drowning in the crush of a rush, surviving it, and the surge of adrenaline that gets you through. That surge continues into the wee hours and you ride that wave like a champion surfer tackling the greatest swell ever. To get paid to hold your own against an ocean is beyond explanation. Unless you've been there yourself, you'll never comprehend.  To do this job, and not actually be paid is insanity.  That is where my head sits spinning in disbelief, that if I could be so fooled into thinking it would all end in sunshine and rainbows... The tax man froze the accounts and we found we found a way to survive while they paid those fuckers back, unfortunately not for lack of trying, we were unsuccessful in salvaging the restaurant.  For lease signs being posted, the locks changed and paycheques promised cancelled. Never has my will to succeed and desire to impress been so repressed.  The owners stole from me.  They took more than I can ever describe.  My spirit dwindles and my confidences wanes.  It frustrates me to look at my last few months and realize what damage has been done to my reputation, my confidence and my sanity. This experience not only cost me time, blood, sweat and tears, but has also damaged my pride and has caused hesitation towards my abilities in this industry.  I know I'm better than this. I've created many smiles. I've improved many peoples days. I've satisfied many souls. I know that this was a challenge. A growing experience, just another university course without the piece of paper, but this was a challenge to my character as well as my intellect. I just hope in the near future the fruits of this endeavour pay off. They will see the wheel come around. Karma is a bitch and sure as hell would love to see their fall. Even more than that however, I would like to see those wronged, given a turn for the better...a reprisal for all the frustration they've endured.  This is not an easy life. Lessons are learned the hard way, however the rewards can be fruitful, if one is willing to ensure the hardships along the way.  I just hope this lesson is worth it's weight in gold.